7 Things Or How Kakashi Drives Sakura Batty
by AlinaLotus
Summary: Frustrated. Insane. Breathless. Kakashi makes Sakura many things, and she's about to tell all to the infamous Copy Ninja.


**Loosely based on the song 7 Things by Miley Cyrus. Warnings: language. **

"Not so hasty, Sakura-chan." Kakashi danced away from Sakura's flying fist. Not with ease, as he was able to years ago when she was a lowly genin with no particular skills, but he managed to get away from her punch all the same.

Sakura was murderous. How was it possible that this, this man, drove her so crazy? She was going to kill Tsunade for making her train with Kakashi today. He infuriated her! He was the most arrogant, laziest, _rudest_--

"Pay attention to your old sensei, Sakura, or this training will have been for nothing." Kakashi admonished, sending a well-aimed kick at Sakura's feet, causing her to topple over onto the ground.

"GRAAAH!" Sakura screamed, slamming her fist into the ground, leaving a considerable dent in the earth. "You're really starting to bug me, you know that!" She flung herself up, hurtling toward Kakashi. As he went to dodge out of the way, she grabbed his calf, infusing her finger tips with chakra, making it impossible for him to get out of her steel-like grip.

Kakashi smirked up at her, his eye cocked as he assessed the situation. Sakura was on top of him, straddling him, her thighs and hips tensed, holding him into place. Her hands were wrapped around his wrists, pinning him. "Well, this _is _preferable to fighting, and nobody likes ignoring the Hokage's orders more than I do, but--"

If looks could kill, Kakashi knew he would've been dead. Quartered, burnt to a crisp, acid poured over the remains of his ashes. But Sakura was just so fucking adorable when she was pissed off! Her eyes sparked with electricity, she worried her bottom lip between her teeth, and she got the most gorgeous flush in her neck and cheeks.

Oh yes, Kakashi agreed, definitely adorable. With the speed that earned him a high rank in opposing village's and rogue ninja's bingo books, Kakashi sat up as much as Sakura's hold would allow him, and pressed his masked lips firmly to hers.

* * *

Sakura kicked the tree out of the way--okay, so it wasn't really in her way, but she needed to break something, and since Kakashi's skull was out of the question (the coward had positively fled when, shocked from his kiss, she'd released all her grip on him), the surrounding trees and rocks would have to do.

Damn Kakashi, making her feel things she shouldn't, making her think things that were beyond inappropriate. The fantasies he caused her to entertain! Well, now that she was finally facing everything that her ex sensei did, in fact, make her feel, she might as well do things right.

When in doubt, her mother always told her, make a list. Back at her apartment, pen poised over the paper, Sakura's eyes reduced to slits, she began to write.

* * *

_Seven Things (or how Kakashi drives Sakura batty) I Hate About You_

_1._ _Your mask is possibly the stupidest, most ridiculous piece of clothing a person could possess. You are not fooling anybody; the world has to know by now that you've got fish lips. _

She could remember the first time she saw his face, in all its glory. She understood, in that instant, why anybody who saw him would be reduced to piles of pathetic, drooling mush. And for some reason, it _really_ pissed her off.

Except, you know, when Kakashi cropped up in her dreams in ways that made her blush each time she saw her former sensei. Nope, then she was definitely not pissed. Sexually frustrated beyond all reason, but never pissed.

Which made her _really_ pissed.

* * *

2. _Your hair looks like a haystack on top of a pile of weeds in the middle of a garbage dump that's infested with rats. I suggest investing some of those S-rank mission paychecks into an effing brush._

Sakura ran her palm across Kakashi's jaw, healing the long cut there. He'd been in pretty bad shape when Naruto and Shikamaru brought him in--they'd all been on some highly classified mission that nobody felt the need to tell her about, but she was glad she was the medic on call when he had shown up. She hated it when others healed him, because she was always concerned they didn't fix him completely, or even correctly. Not that she doubted their abilities, but Kakashi's injuries were always just the beginning of the story, and she was, after all, the Hokage's apprentice _and _Kakashi's former student. If anybody should have the right to be at his bedside, surely it was her. Or so she said to the sponge-bath wielding nurses who, understandably, had heart-shaped eyes and feral grins on their faces.

Sakura glanced up as Kakashi's hair billowed in the slight breeze coming from the open window at the end of the room. Curious, Sakura caught a spike of silver between her index finger and thumb. It was soft, so much softer than she ever imagined it would--or could--be. She made sure Kakashi was still unconscious as she leaned down to his temple, her nose hardly a centimeter from his hairline. She inhaled, the smell of mint and rich, damp earth invading her senses.

Leaving after her shift at the hospital that day, she made Ino, who regularly walked home with Sakura, stop at a small convenience store while she ran in and bought a package of mint gum. She pulled out a stick and sniffed it, a smile creeping up her face.

Ino rolled her eyes as Sakura carefully placed the gum back in its foil wrapper, stowing it in her pocket.

* * *

_3. When you look at me, even though it's usually with only one eye, I feel like you can see _through_ me. It makes me uncomfortable on levels you can't even imagine. _

She was always the worst of team 7. The slowest, the weakest, her skills never up to par and never an asset. Kakashi was always quick to point out what she did wrong--that was the way of this world, he told her. It didn't matter what you could do; it was what you couldn't do that would ultimately decide your fate. So when Sasuke fled the village and Naruto and many of her other friends nearly died to bring him back, she quietly swore to herself that no matter what it took, she would become the shinobi she should have been all along.

Two years later, she was all alone on the training grounds, her shins bruised and fists bloody from beating the posts that loomed mockingly in front of her. She was still, even after training directly under the Hokage, the best medical ninja in the world, _so. weak._

She sprinted away from the lawns, tears flying off her face. She stopped short when she nearly ran headlong into a green-vested solid mass. She didn't have to look up into the the face of said vested mass to know whose gloved hands had reached out, steadying her.

Kakashi ran his hand down from Sakura's shoulder, his palm briefly making contact with her bicep and forearm, before clutching at her hand, his thumb running gently over the abrasions across her knuckles.

"_Heh._" Kakashi met Sakura's eyes, "what you can do is so much more than what you can't." And his coal-colored eye was like an x-ray, scanning her. But Sakura felt, watching his eye crease happily and him raise his hand in a farewell gesture, that Kakashi could see inside of her better than any state of the art medical machine.

* * *

_4. You're self-centered, insensitive and a cheapskate. If you ever want to eat ramen with any girl ever again, you might want to open your wallet once in a while._

"But--" Sakura protested, but Ino had already hung up the phone.

Damn Ino and her stupid social life. But, really, Sakura couldn't blame her. She would readily blow off dinner with her best friend if a date with an ANBU captain was on the line. Sakura sighed, running a hand over her stomach as it gave a growl. And she really had been looking forward to the pork special...

Sakura slung her bag over her shoulder, deciding that Ino wouldn't ruin her dinner plans. But once outside Ichiraku, Sakura's stomach flipped as Naruto and Sasuke, hands intertwined, entered the shop ahead of her, not noticing her presence. She was glad that Sasuke had come back to the village, that he and Naruto had discovered in each other true happiness--but that didn't lessen the hurt that Sasuke had chosen somebody else, especially Naruto, over her. It wasn't so much, she realized now, that she harbored any real feelings for the Uchiha, but a woman's pride is a fragile thing and Sakura's had taken the hardest of blows when Sasuke had declared for the whole village to hear that Naruto was who he loved.

"Two orders of the pork ramen...to go." Sakura shook her head, recognizing that voice. She looked up, and Kakashi was at the side counter, which was hidden from view by a large sweeping curtain from the rest of the shop. He smiled at her, his eye the usual happy crescent. "Ah, Sakura! Um," Kakashi awkwardly patted his pockets, "I seem to be in a spot of trouble. You wouldn't want to help an old friend out, would you?"

Sakura narrowed her eyes. "You're serious?"

Kakashi took the bag of food from the man behind the counter. He opened his mouth to say something, but Naruto appeared in front of him, an orange and blond blur. "Sensei! And Sakura! Hey hey, you wanna sit with me and Sasuke?"

Sakura's eyes dropped to the ground. _Why _did Naruto always have to do this? Always make her uncomfortable and, albeit unknowingly, rub it in her face that he had beaten her?

"Oh...hello, Sakura, Kakashi." Sasuke came up behind Naruto, his hand draped on Naruto's shoulder.

"Actually," Kakashi said, his eyes darting between Sakura and the two boys, "Sakura was just treating me to dinner. So shall we, Sakura?"

Sakura pulled some money out of her wallet and tossed it onto the counter, trying to ignore Naruto and Sasuke altogether. Kakashi put his hand on the small of Sakura's back, leading her out of the restaurant.

"Thanks," Sakura mumbled, not wanting to look back at her friends. "I really didn't want to have to eat with them."

Kakashi shrugged. "The best plans are the ones you didn't plan for in the first place."

Sakura smiled, trotting to keep up with Kakashi as he made his way to a nearby bench. Later, she would want to ask, if he had been planning on eating alone, why he had ordered two take outs of ramen to begin with?

* * *

_5. You. are. the. most. infuriating. shogi. player. _

Sakura lashed out at the board, knocking all of the pieces onto the floor of Kakashi's apartment. It was two in the morning, and she'd stopped by on her way home from the hospital to check on Kakashi's most recent mission-inflicted wounds. Somehow, he'd talked her into a cup of coffee, and they'd begun talking about the upcoming wedding of Shikamaru and Temari. Talking about their old comrade had brought up shogi, and Kakashi showed her the new set he'd just gotten, and could she help him break it in by playing just _one_ game?

That had been three hours and four matches ago. But now, Sakura's patience was nearly gone, having lost horribly to Kakashi's strategies.

Kakashi laughed, his hands behind his neck. "We could always make it more interesting," He offered, as Sakura paced furiously around his living room.

"Like I'm going to lose money to you on that incarnation of pure evil."

Kakashi shrugged. "Not money, no. I was thinking...we could play strip shogi."

Sakura's eyes widened, her eyes trailing down Kakashi's body. He just happened to be wearing a sleeveless black top that sculpted to his muscles in a way that left very little to the willing (and Sakura hated to admit it, but she was, when it came to the copy ninja) imagination. She could practically see his abs ripple as he breathed in and out, his biceps flexing as he retrieved shogi pieces from the floor.

Sakura gave a torturous, but consenting, sigh, and Kakashi smirked; he knew what her answer would be before he'd even asked.

* * *

_6. You're the most inconsiderate man I've ever had the misfortune to deal with. I think I'd die of shock if you ever showed up on time. While you're buying a brush you might consider a watch. _

"Well this is just ridiculous." Sakura stated, hopping down from the rail she'd been sitting on. "He's now two hours late. I didn't sign up for this shit."

Naruto, slurping out of an instant ramen cup, shrugged. He had two more cups to go; as far as he was concerned, Kakashi could take his time. Sai was silent and still, eyes toward the sky. He too seemed unworried or irritated at Kakashi's tardiness.

Sakura gritted her teeth. "_Fine_. I'll go find him. And if he gets here before I get back, you tell him that I'm going to have Tsunade flay him alive when this stupid mission is over with."

Sakura stalked away from the pair, thinking vaguely that Kakashi might have gotten tangled up in another match of rivalry with Gai. Her ears perked up at the low sound of somebody talking, and Sakura wheeled around, facing the back of Kakashi, who stood in front of the large memorial stone.

"She's come so far, you guys wouldn't believe it. I don't always tell her that, though. And I know it isn't really because of me that's she's blossomed into the kunoichi she is, but I can't help but feel, sometimes, that she understands. About my feelings."

Sakura swallowed a lump in her throat. Kakashi _couldn't_ be talking about her. It wasn't possible. At the very least, she never understood anything about him, let alone his feelings...feelings towards her...

"One day, I'll make her as proud of me as I am of her. I'll give her what I couldn't give you." Kakashi put his hand lightly on top of the memorial stone, his head bowed.

Sakura turned around as quietly as she could, silently leaving Kakashi alone. Had she turned back then, she would've noticed Kakashi watching her out of the corner of his eye.

* * *

_7. And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do--you make me love you. _

Sakura folded the list and stuffed it in a nearby envelope. On the front she wrote Kakashi's name, sticking it in her back pocket. She'd drop it off in his mail slot; she knew he was expecting some special edition _Icha Icha_ book to be shipped to him, and he'd probably check his mail obsessively.

She tied her headband at the base of her head, smoothing her hair away from her face. Taking a deep breath, she opened the front door, ready to step onto the landing and bolt down the stairs, when she came face to face with none other than the Hatake himself. He was leaning against the railing, seemingly just waiting for her to open the door.

He stood up straight, flicking a crumpled piece of paper at her. Confused, Sakura opened the piece of paper, smoothing it with her palm. In his impossily messy scrawl was a letter addressed to her. The heading read:

_The Things I Hate About You (or how Sakura makes Kakashi want to kill himself--or her. Mostly her.)_

Sakura glowered, looking up at Kakashi. "What the hell is this?"

"I just thought you should know how you make me feel."

Sakura reached into her back pocket, pulling out the envelope. "Right back atcha." She slapped the envelope against his chest.

Kakashi kept his eye on her as he slit open the envelope with his finger and pulled out her list. He looked down at the piece of paper, a smile creeping up his masked face as he read through each line.

_And what I hate the most that you do. You make me love you_. Sakura's breath caught in her throat as she read the final reason on Kakashi's letter. She gave a huge swallow, and then suddenly his arms were around her, enveloping her.

"Well," he said after a minute of holding her close, "great minds _do_ think alike."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Just shut up and kiss me, sensei." She said, jerking his mask down.

As their lips touched, Sakura decided she'd be thanking Tsunade instead of killing her.

At least until Kakashi screwed up, anyway.

**As ever, feedback is love. **


End file.
